According to the dictionary, “character” means the “mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual” or “strength and originality in a person’s nature.” These definitions only scratch the surface of what the concept of character means. It is a vast idea and covers the span of a human life! The general idea we have of someone’s character is their personality or even their reputation. A lot of times we view character as either positive or negative. Someone who is a good citizen and pays their taxes has good character. Someone who operates outside the bounds of “normal” has poor character. To me, it goes much deeper than what we observe from the outside. Character is a living organism just as we are. It changes as we adapt.
The process of developing character is a life long one. Our character changes as we enter different stages of life. When we are born, our character is simple. Think of it as creating a new character in a game. You have the lowest armor, lowest health, and simple gear. You have what you need to get by in life. When we are born, we have what we need to survive and that is it. Our personalities develop as we go through new experiences. Just like when we fight through obstacles in our game. We get rewards for achieving different feats. Those rewards help our character develop into something stronger. As we grow, we no longer cry for what we want, we ask for it. We learn language as well as manners. We grow and learn based on what is around us. As we learn, we transition from being an infant to a more independent child.
As we become a more unique person, our character develops even more. There is a process of pushing boundaries and exploring what is safe and what is not as well as what is acceptable and what is not. These years can seem to be the toughest when you are in them and it is because you do the most amount of growing in a short amount of time. Up until you are eighteen, you have a freedom that comes with limited responsibility. Without the stresses of living an adult life, you can glimpse what it means to be independent without having devastating consequences. Being a teenager is the first time you start building characteristics that are going to stick around. The phases you go through as a kid fade and interests become more permanent. This is when developing character is the most important.
Going back to our game character, think about the first couple of times you fail repeatedly and are forced start over. It can be truly infuriating! We do the same things as people in real life too. We fail, we learn, and we retry. This happens a lot in the transition from being an angsty teenager to a responsible adult. The kind of character you have built in the first eighteen years of your life will drastically affect how you deal with the times that you do fail. Therefore, it is important to pay attention to the character we develop in ourselves. The foundation that we build will make our true character show. If you don’t have a solid foundation, pitfalls will hurt and cause more damage than if you have a strong one. That being said, becoming an adult is just the beginning. The more responsibility you take on, the more weight you add to your foundation. Developing strong and confident character does not stop when you become an adult. It is something you must continually work to strengthen.
As I mentioned earlier, character is a living organism. It changes and it grows. How it grows is up to you. If you take away one concept from this, I want it to be this: it is ok to change. People get caught up in being a certain way and that hinders change to happen. Development is change. It is growth. And growing character must include change. Now, there is a difference between changing for the sake of your own character development and changing to fit in with everyone else. I call these types of people chameleons. Trying to change aspects of yourself and your character for the sake of others will only lead you to frustration. Don’t be a chameleon. Rather, don’t be afraid to make changes to your life for your own benefit. Sometimes this is easier said than done. Making big decisions should not be taken lightly, but it should at least be an option. Adapt and change for the right reasons.
One good way to tell if your reasons are “right” or not is to look at change directionally. Constructive character development should always lead you vertically rather than horizontally. This isn’t necessarily black and white but let me explain. If you are facing a change, let’s use a job change for this example, you can look at it in several ways. For this, there would be financial changes as well as other changes. If you have a job that pays well but does not allow time for family or hobbies that you enjoy, would taking a job with less pay but more personal benefits be a vertical change or a horizontal change? If you are increasing your well-being and the pros outweigh the cons, I would argue that taking that pay cut would be beneficial. Making that difficult decision also adds to your character development. All those tricky situations increase your ability to think critically and see the bigger picture. You are leveling up your character one fight at a time. Always move vertically.
I leave you with some parting thoughts. Think about your life so far. Every decision you have made has led you to where you are. Every struggle and every heartache have developed your character. How have you grown and changed over the years? Have you made more horizontal changes than vertical? How has this character development impacted the people you love and care about? Reflect on your story. Is there anything you want to change moving forward? Can you recognize your own character flaws? If so, what will it take to continue vertically? Think about these as you work on developing your own character, and remember: character development calls for a life of vertical change.
Studentity 